You see, I was the skinny "B" in school and reading this story reminds me about something that happened to me, but just a tad-bit different.
Tim... the guy who told me I was his best friend and buddy in the world, the guy who always was friendly to me no matter how crappy I was to him, who always had time for me, always was there with a helping hand and a shoulder, the guy who said I was pretty even when I stuck my tongue out at him. Tim was also the nerd in school and who wore glasses and leg braces and used crutches to get around.
Tim would ask me to the movies, cause no one else did. Tim would ask me to go to picnics with him and his family, but I wouldn't go cause I didn't want to be "stuck" there with people I didn't really know. Tim would invite me to the church socials, I wouldn't go to them either, I was afraid I'd let a bad word slip and be doomed to hell much sooner than I was prepared to go. And yes... Tim even invited me to school events like the Spring dance and then of all things... Tim invited me to go with him to his Junior Prom. I remember how I laughed when he asked me to the prom, I remember telling him he was being "stupid" too because he couldn't dance, and why on earth would I want to go with him? Besides all that, I mean I couldn't very well be seen with him and have my almighty image shattered to hell in front of my "so called" friends, now could I?
Kids.... and wll they ever stop to realize the power or the impact that words imply until that one day they jump up and hit 'em smack dab in the middle of the face.
One day Tim said he had to go back to the doctor for some tests and stuff and probably would be out of school a few days and he "sure would miss me." I just said OK... good luck Tim, bye! A week and then two weeks passed, and Tim never came back to school. I asked in the office about him, but they just said he was out sick. Another week passed and he still didn't come back, so I walked to his house to find out why. His mom met me at the door and said Tim wasn't seeing anyone, he didn't want any visitors. I left but couldn't figure out why he didn't want to see ME, I mean I was his best friend, he told me as much and I certainly hadn't done anything to him and I had every right to see him!
As I was walking home from school one day, I decided to go by Tim's house again. When I turned the corner I could see him setting on the porch and as soon as he saw me he shouted out... "Go away Candy, you don't want to see me today or any day, you don't want to have anything to do with me now, so go on and get on home honey, maybe another time."
Well stubborn miss here, no one was telling me what to do by damn, and especially some nerdy glass wearin' guy, who had leg braces too! I put my hands on my hips, stuck out my chest and marched myself up to the porch. Just as I hit the top step, Tim turned around and I saw the reason why he wanted me to go... he was setting in a wheel-chair with a blanket over his lap.
I remember my mouth kind of dropping open and saying something like... "what happened Timmy, what happened to your legs?" In all the years I'd known Timmy, I never once saw him cry, but I did that day. It was like the flood gates had held all they could and now everything inside just came pouring out.
I went over to him and started to hug him and he said something like... "you know Candy, it really hurt me that day when you told me if I didn't wear leg braces, you might go to the Prom with me. I knew then I'd always be wearing them but I couldn't tell you that and I knew I'd never dance either, but I'm not wearing any leg braces today Candy... I don't have to wear them anymore." He pulled back the blanket and beneath it I saw these 2 scarred up stubs where his legs used to be. I stood there gawking, looking down at the ugliness, the horrid reality that he wasn't joking, and I jumped away. Tim said... "Now go on home Candy, I don't want you to see me again!"
I took off running home, throwing myself across the bed and crying my eyes out. I never talked to Timmy again after that day, and I missed him a lot... more than anyone will ever know. I'd go by his house, but he wasn't on the porch, so I'd just go on home or on to school. Then one day about a month later, I heard whispers in the hall at school... "he didn't get any better after they cut his legs off"... "wasn't that awful what happened?"..... "he was always so creepy though".... "too bad he was like that"......"he was kind of a dork"... "those glasses were way too big for his face, they must have been his dad's"... and then laughter and someone else saying.... "or maybe his Grandpa's, ha ha ha!"
For the life of me I couldn't understand why they were talking about Timmy like that, even though he wore glasses and stuff, he was friendly and wouldn't hurt anyone, so without thinking I cut into the crowd and told them all to shut the hell up! These very people, ones who I THOUGHT were my friends were hypocrites and being asinine, and I told them they were all worthless pieces of "crap" (I used the "S" word though), and I left them standing there wondering what in the hell had hit me!
Tim died a few months later, I went to his funeral, in fact almost all of the whole school was there and there were flowers everywhere. His mom set there on the front row and as I walked by, she stood up and hugged me.... I hugged her back and then she whispered in my ear... "You know, Timmy always loved you Candy, up to the very last day." I couldn't help but cry, it was a dark day for me, it was unfair someone like Timmy had to die, but through it all the sun was shining, and then the true meaning of friendship hit me square in the face.
They say friendship is sharing the good times and the bad times, the laughter and tears, all those ups and downs with someone else who understands you, just like you do them. A true friend knows what you're feeling inside your heart without you having to tell them, and even when you make no sense, which is most of the time when you're young kids... they're still your friend. Well... that was Tim, a true friend who never saw anything ugly about me. He was always there for me and he liked me even when I was the one being "stupid" and saying all that horrible stuff, right to his face.
They say what goes around, comes around... I believe it. I also believe that life is like a Merry-Go-Round... we go around and around and we reach out hoping to grasp that Brass Ring, but most times we end up just going around and around, again and again. Funny how some things you forget to try, and how some things you try to forget, but you can't. I extend a VERY SPECIAL thanks to Donna at Antisocial Bitch for making me realize once again how important true friendship is, when you're being a real "B" about appearances or when you're just a kid and don't seem to know any better.
That's my honey thoughts... have a nice day.
By the way... HaloScan (my comments) is down again! Boo Hiss - yes, I'm remembering it's FREE too! *sigh*